Dies Novum

New Day.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the second 9 weeks. This means that the first quarter of school is over. I am alive.

Reflections on my first 9 weeks as a teacher:

• wow- TFA really didn't prepare me for ALOT of this
• this is STILL really really hard
• WHY OH WHY DID I EVER LEAVE WISCONSIN? (especially since I'm missing out on such a great sports season!)
• This gets easier... right?

The thoughts and the doubts and the hardships have not changed. I still find myself wondering where I can find any ounce of excitement or energy. Most days, it is sheer determination and force of will that gets me up in the morning.

I am completely aware that this sort of thought process and life is miserable, unproductive, and unsustainable. However, in the midst of district guidelines, teacher improvement plans, unending planning, and piles of grading... it's about all I can muster.

Here's the positive side: tomorrow marks the beginning of the next quarter. I've had the past 2 days off to get caught up (which didn't happen as much as I would like). I also went and observed two second year TFA staff to gain some perspective because, being the only TFA person at my school, it is easy to compare myself with the only examples I see, namely, the veteran delta teachers. The teachers at my school are amazing, but I cannot take on the same persona as them. I have a different background, demeanor, and cultural upbringing. I can't be harsh and violent in the classroom. In fact, my students would probably just laugh if I tried. So, seeing other TFA teachers in their classroom really helped me envision how my own teaching can change. First, they are much much better at picking their battles. They have times when kids can chat quietly and not stay perfectly silent. They ignore small behavior issues and address discipline only when needed. Also, they don't let anything interrupt the flow of their lesson.

Looking at the teachers today made me realize that while many parts of my classroom need serious work, they aren't a lost cause. I have many parts of my teaching style right on track. In fact, I've been fighting way too many battles.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new start. I'm going to lay down the law and start being a better teacher. I'm going to try and find some joy in my classes and hopefully find a more sustainable planning system.

This 9 weeks, I also have many countdowns to look forward to:
1) 4 days: FREE IPAD! Before Steve Jobs took his leave from apple, he worked to donate a first generation ipad to every TFA corps member. This ipad is for us to keep as our personal property and for us to use in the classroom.

2) 8 days: I FLY HOME! 2 dear friends of mine are getting married on the 21st and I am so excited to be able to attend! It will be a very short weekend, but I am so excited to be home for a quick visit.

3) 35 days: THANKSGIVING BREAK! My district has a full week off for thanksgiving, and I will be home for it's entirety. I will also be driving my car up so I can come back to MS with a trunkload of WI beer, cheese, brats, and sudafed (because you can't buy legit cold medicine without a perscription here).

4) 2 months and 5 days: WINTER BREAK! 2.5 weeks off and spent in the snowy wonderland that is the badger state.