This past week we had District Summative testing. Basically, they test the students on all the objectives for the year and use the data to decide whether or not the students should move on to the next grade level. However, testing at my school is always extra crazy because of logistics. The idea of making a schedule that works, or of having materials ready for all the students (pencils, partitions, calculators, etc...) just doesn't happen. Every time we test the schedule is different. Most times, even when we are given a typed schedule, the administration doesn't follow it (because it doesn't make sense). So, in true survivor-teacher fashion, we sit with a room full of brain-dead, restless kids for hours on end with no direction or knowledge of what's going on, and wait for either the bell to ring, or for someone to come on the loudspeaker and tell us what to do. Additionally, it usually works out that we just hold in our homeroom class, which is the class I have the least control over. Such is life. 13 of the students that I already can't control, in my class for 3-4 hours with no structure, no idea of what's happening, and no regard for my sanity.
So, while testing weeks can be nice because they don't require me to plan lessons- they still are a nightmare.
This week started out no differently. We were scheduled to test from 1-3 period, have recess the first 10 minutes of 4th period, then have a normal schedule the rest of the day. Makes sense, right? First day was crazy because they didn't actually start testing until an hour later than scheduled. So, we ended up testing through 4th period (which meant that I didn't get my planning period that day) then going straight into normal schedule. The kids got a 10 minute recess- then went to classes. They were fried. I don't blame them! They took almost 2.5-3 hours to take the test, then had school the rest of the day- as 12 and 13 year olds!! They don't even make college students do that!
The next day is where the positive part of the story comes in (the background was essential- I promise). I came in to the day armed with crossword puzzles and word searches of literary elements and other terms to stem the tide of unstructured craziness in case we sat in my class for unlimited amounts of time with no direction. They were halfway through their first crossword (and being extra crazy) when the loudspeaker tells me that I will be taking my class to the gym for the first 4 period of the day because there aren't enough calculators for them to take the test until the other classes are done. At this news my class becomes a jungle: kids jumping over desks, hugging each other, screaming, making me seem like the worst behavior manager in the world. As usual. Once I threaten to make them all sit in the office for the first 4 hours instead of the gym, they calm down a little bit. I line them up and begin to take them to the gym. Half my class is out the door when my principal tells me that she actually found the calculators and that they should wait in the classroom until she brings the test to them (this usually takes about an hour for reasons unknown). Chaos ensues again. With more threats they settle in enough to get in the classroom and I pull the librarian (who was their kindergarten teacher) into my classroom for damage control. Watching her with the kids is amazing. They tried everything, but she managed to calm them down and get them working in about 15 minutes.
Naturally, once they have finally settled in and are finishing their crosswords, the loudspeaker comes back. "Take them back to the gym, we don't have enough calculators after all. You will need to supervise them with Coach while they are in there." You guessed it- my peacefully working students once again transform into screaming banshees. This time the loudspeaker was still on and listening - "Ms. S you need to get control of your students or you will need to hold them in your classroom until the other students finish testing." Typical, nothing said to the students, but punishment comes directly on my shoulders. At the thought of holding these kids in one room with meager crossword puzzles- my heart drops. Luckily, the librarian helps me do damage control and get them out of the door in a semi-presentable manner.
Here the adventure really starts. "Going to the gym" is really popular at my school. If we can't get a sub, or if they don't know what to do with a group of students, the solution is 'send them to the gym for any length of time'. I've always been curious about the mysterious happenings of the gym. I walked in to chaos. I expected no less. Kids were jumping off bleachers, chasing each other, jumping on each other, throwing sunflower seeds at each other. No facade of order or direction. After a while, coach got a basketball game going. Some students played basketball, others were causing chaos on the bleachers. I stationed myself there- just to perform CPR or other emergency medical care if needed. I really don't know how students haven't died yet. Then, after the first 2 hours, the basketball game ended and dodgeball started. Instead of two teams throwing balls at each other, it was an all-out bloodbath. No sides, no teams, no order. Basically it was a gym full of students running anywhere and grabbing anything they could find to throw at each other. The next step of the game starts when about 1/2 the boys ran into the locker room underneath the bleachers. The rest of the kids grabbed anything laying around and crowded the door- pelting them with dodgeballs and occasionally scattering when anything was thrown back. Deciding that my stomach couldn't take this lack of risk-management, I wandered around the empty gym, trying not to be bored to death (but relieved that I wasn't holding these kids in a classroom!) until I found a volleyball.
Enter part 3 of the story- my kids learn that I played volleyball.
I was entertaining myself by passing and setting to myself, when I look over and see about 5 kids watching me with their jaws dropped. Yes, children, I am a real person and not just an Engish teacher. I grab 2 of them and my old coaching brain comes back. I start teaching them how to pass and play around with them for a while while the dodgeball bloodbath continues in the background. One of my girls is just enthralled with playing volleyball with me. She's one of my favorite students, but has a huge temper that gets her sent out of my class pretty regularly. I am loving this chance to actually connect with her and have fun! Before long, we move over to a wall and I start teaching her how to serve and spike. With her anger issues, I tell her about how she can take her frustration out on a volleyball (and not in my class). She's actually pretty good!
When the dodgeball dies down and coach reemerges from the locker room, he sees me playing volleyball and decides that he's going to teach it to all the kids. Volleyball is not a big sport in the delta. In fact, none of the schools that I've heard of have a team. Most kids have no idea how to play (nor does the coach, really). He gets out the net, which consists of two poles which have to be placed in a cement-filled tire on the basketball court. The net hasn't been used in so long that it is hopelessly tangled on one of the nets. He leaves 6 seventh graders to try to untangle it while he finds the other net. I sit laughing as these 7th graders try to all untangle the net at once. If I had more energy, maybe my inner facilitator would have tried to get them to work together and get something out of the situation, but I found it too entertaining. Finally, they give up and coach gives them a scissors to cut the old net off and put the new one on. MISTAKE. Within 30 seconds, one of my students has cut his hand open and blood is dripping all over the floor. Once again- how has no student died in the gym? Luckily it isn't that bad, just bloody. The new net is set up and coach gathers the 7th graders to learn volleyball for the first time. Even though I'm just sitting and watching at this point, it's really neat to see my kids trying something that I love so much. Coach has me do some demonstrations of serving and passing for them- they go crazy! Look at that- Ms. S can play a sport! (I later heard them saying in the hallway - "Man, Ms. S so strong! You should see how hard she hits a volleyball!) Finally- some street cred.
We ended up spending 4.5 hours in the gym that day. Then, the 7th graders went to take their test, and I had regular classes. This meant that all the other classes didn't get any time in the gym, or a break. Poor kids. They were pretty angry ( and I didn't blame them!) Also, I secretly wanted to play some more volleyball. Let's be honest, my mind was in no place to get any teaching done for the rest of the day. So, what did we do? We put workbooks on our desk and then talked about life and hung out for the hour. If anyone walked by, we pretended to do work- but it was a show. I then had them swear that they wouldn't tell a single soul that we did anything other than MCT2 prep for class. It didn't work- but at least for that day, we got to hang out and chat. We talked mostly about where they wanted to go to college and what it took to get there. They were shocked when I told them that when they got to high school- they could never earn another C or D again, nor could they get sent to the office if they wanted to get to colleges like Kentucky or Duke (they all want to play basketball there). It kind of worked because the next day, they all started doing their work when I reminded them that they wouldn't get to college by sleeping in class.
By the end of the day, my shoulders were sore from using my long-dormant volleyball muscles, I was dreading actually teaching again, but sincerely thankful for the opportunity to have a 'day off' of actually working.
Sometimes the craziness actually helps.
Ms. S, you have SO much street cred up in this hood ;) Way to go!!
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